


Safer Here

by FereldansFinest



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 00:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8555758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FereldansFinest/pseuds/FereldansFinest
Summary: The Lavellans were notorious for holding onto things that hurt until they burst from them. Krem knew that, but, even this was a little out of the ordinary. This wasn't like always. This wasn't Shirave hiding away  until someone came for him. This had to be worse.





	

So far, the day was completely normal, and Krem had just been going about it as such, but, when he and Bull got to the tavern, what they found was concerning. Where they normally sat, in one of the seats, Dorian had Shirave curled into his arms, shaking hard. Dorian gave them a distressed look, and Krem rushed over to see what was going on. When Shirave saw Krem, he latched instead onto him, and Krem did his bed to hold him, even with his armor on. Krem didn't speak yet, knowing that when Shirave was ready, he would tell Krem what was going on, or he would tell him what he needed him to do. 

None of the chargers spoke a word, all wanting to be respectful, and not overwhelm Shirave. As soon as he was ready, he rasped into Krem's ear "Please, let's go to my room." and Krem nodded, scooping him up and leaving without another word. As they were leaving the tavern, Dorian looked at Bull hopelessly. 

"He and his sister are so broken up. I wish I could help them." he said softly to Bull, who just set his arm around Dorian's shoulders and nodded. 

"We all want to help. You know who can? Just Krem, Cullen, and Hawke and his boys." he told Dorian. "There aint much else anyone but the Lavellans can do for them." he rubbed his shoulder slowly. "You did what you could, Dorian." he told him. Dorian nodded and sighed a little. 

When Krem and Shirave reached Shirave's chambers, Krem set Shirave on the bed before he quickly shed his armor so he could hold his lover properly and give him what he needed. When he joined him on the bed, Shirave clung to him, and he knew something had to be wrong, so so wrong. He was horrified about that fact while he waited. He held Shirave to his chest, letting him tremble and slowly start crying, wishing he knew what was hurting him. Maker, he only wished he knew, so he could help him. He tightened his arms, and for a long while, Shirave just cried. When it finally started subsiding, and he was just trying to breathe, Krem dipped his head down to kiss him softly. "What happened, Shirave?" he asked him, so careful to keep his voice gentle that he was nearly whispering. 

Shirave took a moment to clear himself up to speak. "I..." he had to pause, taking a long breath. Krem nodded and rubbed his back to encourage him. "I was thinking about Carver." he told Krem, his voice getting so tiny and so full of pain. Krem winced to hear it, but he kissed Shirave's forehead. "I... I got so upset..." he looked down, starting to cry again. Krem gently shushed him, wiping his tears away with his thumbs before he took a careful hold of Shirave's face and tilted it up so his sweet Lavellan would look him in the eye. 

"Are you hurt?" Krem asked him. Shirave nodded. "Did you do it?" he asked, his voice softer. Shirave hesitated, but he nodded. Krem kissed him very softly. "You'll be alright. I'll take a look, and make sure you're cleaned up in a bit ok? For now..." he hummed and looked around. "Let's see." he paused and smiled at Shirave a bit, lopsided and sweet, the way he knew Shirave loved. "Why don't you tell me stories from Kirkwall. The ones that make you feel good." and Shirave nodded, looking down and taking a little breath. 

"One time... I got caught at the blooming rose, when I was still pretty young. You should have seen how mad Fenris was. He went in there and went through the books, and he told the lady that for every time my name showed up on her books, he was gonna come in and give her hell. I'd only been a few times, but she was terrified. Hawke and Fenris and Anders would all go in there, when Fenris decided it, and they would interrupt everything, and Hawke would hire out all the women to ignore the women that ran the place, and the patrons." he laughed, thinking about it. "They helped me figure out things too. They stayed around me a lot, so I wouldn't get lonely. That's when I started having my dreams about you, too..." Krem was happy to see him thinking of things that helped, anything to keep the poisonous and fresh memory of the death of Carver Hawke away from Shirave. 

"And... one time, Isabela took me and Nyla to go get new clothes when we were still young. Right after they met us, and I got a really pretty outfit. We went to the hanged man to meet everyone, and that's when Varric gave me my nickname. He saw my outfit, and he saw how much I loved it, and after that he called me pastels." he was smiling now. "And he calls Nyla knives. Did you know that my nickname for her actually means dagger...?" he asked Krem. "Da'mi. It means little knife. I called her that because she protected me with her daggers, and because, like my magic, her knives give her power..." he was babbling now, and Krem couldn't have been more relieved if he tried. 

Shirave looked up at him. "One time... After mother died... Hawke and I were home together. He didn't feel good, and he was ready to be sick, so he wanted me at his side so he had something to be happy about. I wasn't little anymore, or, I wasn't super little anymore, but I was still... Let me see... Hawke met us when I was nine... So I was maybe ten or eleven." he nodded. "We were sitting on the floor by his bed so he had the pot, and we were watching the fire together. He looked over at me, and he asked me if I wanted to talk about that man that I was dreaming about. He and I spent a long time just talking about it. When we were almost done, he told me, that no matter what this man was like, he was gonna be happy to see me with him, because he knew having someone that loves me would be something really good for me. He was right, you know?" he told him. "He was right. Now I have someone to talk to." he laughed. "Someone who won't just hug me or tell me I'm alright. I've got someone who'll hide me and let me cry, and kiss me, and tell me he loves me..." he wiped at his eyes. "It's different when it's not family..." he murmured. 

Krem nodded and kissed Shirave again, this time, the elf moved his lips ever so slightly with Krems, filled with love. Krem was so glad that he'd managed to get this out. When the kiss broke, Shirave sighed and started to get his shirt off. "I used to have problems with this..." he murmured. "Back in Kirkwall, after the Qunari Invasion, especially. Between that and the circle annulment, I struggled a lot with it." he told Krem as he exposed himself, and turned his arms up so Krem could see the angry red gashes. Krem went into a pack he kept on some of his discarded armor, and he carefully rubbed an elfroot salve from inside of the pack into them, before he wrapped both of his arms, from the wrist to the elbow, and kissed his wrists gently once it was done. 

"Feeling a little better?" he asked Shirave softly. When his lover, his inquisitor, his world, everything, when he nodded, Krem pulled him into another hug. "Good. Wanna go back to the tavern and eat with Bull and Dorian? Everyone's worried." he asked him lightly. 

"Can we get Nyla?" Shirave asked. 

"Course we can." Krem got up, and offered his hand to Shirave. He was going to keep his armor off for now, knowing Shirave would still need him. As they went down the stairs, Shirave redressed and all, hand in hand, the door at the bottom opened, and just as Nyla was starting up the stairs, looking worried, she saw them halfway down them, and she relaxed visibly. "Oh, Da'vhenan..." she sighed out lightly, coming up to him and hugging him tight. Shirave let go of Krem to hug his sister back. Krem didn't mind even vaguely. Shirave needed her, and he knew that. More than anything, Nyla was what Shirave was going to need. He saw the last of the tension falling out of Shirave's posture, and he let out a held breath. All three of them went to the tavern, Shirave holding onto both of their hands as they went, and at the tavern, the way everyone drank, and talked, and had fun, it felt just like being at home again.

So, as Shirave leaned into Krem, still holding Nyla's hand, while the Chargers sang their song, he smiled, really and truly, and everything felt alright for a moment. 


End file.
